A Cure for Creaks

Creaky Doors No More

   Do you have creaky doors? I did not too long ago. Want to know how I fixed it? Because that's what I'm sharing in this post: a surefire way to quiet those creaky hinges.

This is a door hinge. Image from askthebuilder.com.

   First, let's talk about doors. Doors are things you open in the walls of buildings to move through them. Doors can be made of many different materials, like grass or dead bodies. Doors generally have knobs and hinges, possibly also windows and locks. You can cover up the windows with things called curtains - some people are unaware of this. Some doors are very pretty, while others aren't so much. Doors keep things out that we don't want in, and things in that we don't necessarily want escaping, like Granny or the kidnapped body before you kill it. Doors are important to our well-being and protect us from wild animals, or the police, depending on who you are. They usually don't fail in doing their job, but again, that depends on who you are and what you're trying to keep out or in.

   Sometimes, doors get creaky, or start making some groaning sounds, like that dead body you don't know exactly what to do with. Some people have absolutely no idea what to do to make such things shut up, so I'm writing this post to help those of us who've never dealt with a dea-, I mean, door, a creaky door before, and don't have the handyman parents to help them out.

   Now what usually causes doors to make creepy, annoying noises are the hinges. Yeah, those things that attach it to the wall and possibly hold it up off the floor. No, I'm not talking about the dead body now. Most hinges are made of metal, kind of like nails, or most nails anyway, and when metal moves against other materials, like other metal, it sometimes makes a noise or two. Some people are bothered by these noises, and others can have an inhuman ability to totally block them out, as if they don't exist. I mean, it really is inhuman, like they don't even know the sounds exist, they just pretend there isn't anything lying on the floor, uh, I mean, creaking, creaking in the door.

One of those oil brushes. Image from zappos.com.

   Anyway, what I thought was, hey, if we just put something between what's rubbing to make those sounds, then the sounds will stop. I considered WD40, but I didn't want to spray black oil that close to white doors, I thought that could look pretty nasty, so that was out. Then I thought, hey, vegetable oil! It's clear, I just had to figure out how to get it on the hinges without making a terrible mess, because you know how cooking oil just goes everywhere when you try pouring it down someone's, I mean, over the hinges of a door.

   I used one of those oil brushes from my kitchen. Put it in the dishwasher afterwards, came right clean again. Mine's made of some rubber stuff, so it's pretty flexible. Made the job real easy. Anyway, I took one of my oil brushy thingies and dipped it in a really small bowl full of vegetable oil, then took the brush right down the middle of the hinges, both sides. Then I worked around the door a bit: open-shut, open-shut, a little weight on it open-shut, open-shut, lifting up on it a bit open-shut, open-shut. Then voila! No more groaning, creaky doors.

   That was at least a week ago. My house is still as silent as the dead are supposed to be, you know, when they're in the ground, six-feet under. And no smell!

5 Steps to Curing Heartburn

A Natural Cure for Hot-Wings Heartburn

   We all suffer from occasional heartburn. Some of us down a few pills to get rid of it, others swallow some Pepto-Bismol, without knowing or caring that the continued use of over-the-counter medicines can cause other problems. People like me sometimes get on their smart phone and ask the internet about some things to try to get rid of it naturally. In this post, I'm going to share with you how to cure your own heartburn for sure!

Image from http://www.ioonos.com/heartburn-remedies

   First, let's  realize what causes heartburn: Acid. Yes, something that's always in your tummy, but not always angry at you. Next, why otc medicines work: They calm the acid. Yes, I know, pretty basic and probably obvious stuff, but important for understanding why the natural things I'm going to share with you really work. Also, let us recognize why heartburn should be defeated: letting heartburn go untreated can lead to greater health problems, such as ulcers.

   Now, to the steps to making your occasional heartburn a thing of the past... 

Step 1: Know everyone's body is a little different from everyone else's body. The genius ideas other people have to cure their own heartburn may be goofy, but if they work for them, they work, just probably not for you too.

Step 2: Identify your triggers. Though this step is optional and sometimes difficult to do, it is helpful to know the enemy, whether you decide to keep sleeping with them or not. 

   We all have our own triggers, the things that set off our heartburn. We may share some with one another, such as hot wings, but we are all a bit different. For instance, pizza sets off my father's heartburn, but not mine, and we both share coleslaw as a trigger, though it only causes heartburn for me 50% of the time. Just because tomatoes are your mother's trigger, does not mean they are also yours. Find your triggers. Avoiding them could be the solution to your heartburn problems. 

   For information on the top ten heartburn food triggers, visit this link. 

Step 3: Have dinner or a snack. This step may seem redundant, but heartburn is not exclusively caused by food. Medicines can cause heartburn, especially the types that say on the side of the bottle to take them with food - if you forget to take them with your dinner, have a substantial snack to keep the acid from getting angry at you (a slice of bread or two usually does it for me, but I usually opt for something tastier). Hunger can cause heartburn too, I've learned; sometimes I get heartburn instead of hunger pains, for whatever reasons. 

Image from www.futureshipwreck.com

Step 4: Chew. No, not the tobacco kind, but the gum kind. The tobacco kind results in greater problems, like cancer. Chewing gum however, is harmless, except to your heartburn - unless you have TMJ, and if you do, skip this step. Chewing increases saliva production, you swallow the saliva, and within minutes, your heartburn may be cured by the saliva calming the acid in your stomach. It works for me!

Step 5: When devouring your trigger, soften the blow. This one may take some thinking on your part, but keep in mind it may be worth it. This is a lot like the "take this medication with food" thing. Take something that is likely to balance out the acid content (or otherwise angry-acid-making content) and add it to your trigger. 

   For example, my Dad decorates his pizza with honey. I would never try it, since pizza doesn't give me heartburn and I'm not crazy about honey, but it works for him.

   If you find someone who has one of your triggers, and they have found something that works for them, then I say go ahead and try whatever may work. If it's the same trigger, the solution for someone else may work for you too, though it's a little unlikely.

     Now you know what can help you leave your heartburn in the past. Of course, if you suffer from more than just occasional heartburn, you may have more serious problems and should see your doctor. This blog post is in no way a substitute for treatment for more serious things than what is truly occasional heartburn. 

   Your question when you came here was: How do I get rid of the pesky heartburn I get every once in a while? If this wasn't your question, you probably need to seek professional help. Now, I have a question for you: What are your triggers, and what do you use to soften the blows? Because, admit it, we're not going to stop eating our favorite foods. And the others who are going to read this post are not going to want to think for themselves, though they should, and are going to be looking for ways to soften the blows in the comments below. So, here's an opportunity to help each other out. Leave a comment below to help out someone who may have a trigger in common with you, and enough body chemistry in common to share the cure as well.